"Correct Grooming"

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So today is really busy. Our trash can was stolen, so we're dealing with that. The recovery will be difficult, but... *sniff*... I'll buy another.

Now let's talk about this here Offtime, it's cute, clever, and the first Offtime I ever enhanced on the computer. So in a special way, it's the first Offtime. Seems apt that this should be the last. Like I said, my collection of Offtimes is gone, and unless I'm suddenly 9 years old again at some point, there won't be anymore. This site existed to refurbish my old work and show both the reader and myself the inner-workings of a child's sense of comedy. Looking back on this stuff, I was pleasantly surprised. I'm leaving this blog up so I can always remember the stuff I did when I was little, and then the stuff I did with that stuff when I was a teen. I'll always cherish the past, but here's to the future!
check the YouTube Channel!

I WAS UNDER A BUS FOR A WEEK!!!

Or two or 3 or 4 weeks...
I know I haven't updated recently, but if you watch my channels, CH1, CH2, then you know I'm often busy and tired. In news though, I launched a new format for a series on my second channel. It beat my last video's view count in just 3 days. (The video it beat took a week to get there)

I'm treating this as a sign that I should continue with this idea. ;)

somewhere...out there...

So sorry it's been two weeks without an update.
But on the brightside, I started a new channel that did pretty well it's first few days. I'm going to guest star on another podcast to talk about it this Saturday. While on that podcast, I intend to reveal some shocking news about the future of unnaturalofftime the YouTube Channel. I know this post was weirdly named, I don't know why I called it that either.

If my new vision for unnaturalofftime works, a new blog could be in the mix...
I know, I don't even update this regularly. ;)

SuperMerch is down. ;(

That blog has finally been put to sleep. Mostly because no one liked it, it didn't look very good, and the posts weren't that funny. But enough self beat down! I've created UNOMAIN, a new header site for everything I'm doing and working on. I hope to make it the place where I talk about random life crap and upcoming videos...as opposed to that place being here.

So if I have a big announcement, I'll try to post it there. ;)

Soz about thursday

I have a load of updates, but I just didn't get around to it last Thursday. I'll put that post up between now and next Thursday. Trust me. ;)

Also, the eyemmer movie is being covered in a magazine article. I'll link to it once it's finished. ;D

THEY CUT ME!!!!

"If you saw the full version of this, you'd think I was racist."

Though they didn't cut me, I enjoyed my first guest appearance on DJG and CCE's podcast. Watch it here! But in other news, no Offtime yesterday. And instead, this. But the image in combination with my appearance on someone's show, should compensate fairly well.

Thursday's Offtime?

As you know, today a new Offtime would've gone up. Well that's not happening. Because as I've said, I'm out of Offtimes. I do however, have an interesting substitute I can do here. Unfortunately, I can't do that right now. See, my mom dragged me to her job with her. The computer I'm telling all this on doesn't have any of my files. So hopefully, I'll get an update up later today. In lighter news, One of my YouTube pals invited me to guest star on one of his podcasts. Will I take up his offer? I haven't decided yet. I'd ask for your opinions, but I know no one reads this. {:)

New post tomorrow...

It's me. Coming to you live from (censored), it's unnaturalofftime night live! Wouldn't that be crazy? some sort of live chat on the nights before updates? I'd literally be up all night blogging about pointless crap until 10:00 the next morning. I'd pass out before then and miss the update time. Anyway, I feel like I haven't said anything in a while. I've been thinking about getting a new camera. One that does the visual quality I want, with the price I can handle. Also, check out this link. ;) If it worked, it should've been opened the trailer for my movie. But in a neat little window. Yes, the only reason I made this post was to try that out. Anyway, that's all for tonight. ;|

"Horrific!"

So this Offtime is the second to last Offtime I have in stock. I'd make more, but I'm really occupied with all my other stuff. In good news, SuperMerch™ uploaded it's first new post in 2 months! And Underobs is still going strong. Oh yeah, I kinda have to describe this Offtime a little. There's a reason I waited this long to upload it. Look at it upside down, and you see a horrific scene with blood, and a stick person crying heavily over their bodies. Look at it rightside up, and the entire image resembles a happy face. Or, if you can't imagine that big, look at the head of the crying girl upside down. Her earrings are eyes, her open frown is a smile, and her stub of a nose is the underlip. And you can imagine that her tears are drool. This is probably very dark, but this is the most violent offtime to date, and hopefully not to be surpassed.

"For Cheap Amusement!"

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So, I'm very busy. But in a fun way! I making a movie for one of my YouTube friends. Yes, she's just a friend.
But on the bad side, my Offtime collection is depleting. I'll have to start making more, and that's not something I planned on doing. Personally,

I'm really proud of myself. This Offtime used to actually be vulgar, but I figured out a way to change it so it's kiddy safe, (Oddly Appropriate) but still funny! For all of you who must know what it used to say, fine. On the chamber where it says, "The Sitter." It used to say, "Sit n' Screw." An overly crass term for doing nothing. (One of it's uses.)

"Everyone's Mother."

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Okay, I know I'm dropping the ball a little. This update came rather late in the afternoon. But I'm really trying to do alot around this time, and as I said, Summer is a difficult time for me. One day I will explain, but until then, just keep trucking.

Personally, I think this Offtime is really cute. I wanted to give it a caption, but we thought it was good by itself. If it had gotten a caption, it would have said, " By the looks of it, he's bouncing them."
Let me know if you thought that caption would've been a funny addition.

"Delightful, is it not? It's not."

Yeeeeeaaaa, I kinda didn't update yesterday. I can explain! I was really busy researching things for my Channel.
In fact, today, I just uploaded this. I'll put up an Offtime next Thursday, but until then, just enjoy the other stuff.

"Christina Aguilera Has Some Messed Up Teeth!"

Today is the first Tuesday I'm purposely not updating. As you read in my post, ( "30th post Horrible announcement") I'm only updating on Thursdays now. But onto what I wanted to blog about. Today I visited my local Dentist, it was completely pointless, and a waste of time. I wouldn't say that's too harsh a settlement because ultimately, she just chiseled my teeth (Removing perfectly good tooth) to make them a little more refined. I had no cavities, so they didn't have that to worry about.  But they also violently scraped plaque from places where plaque should be, leaving my teeth feeling like they wanted to fall out. Then, if that wasn't humiliating and painful enough, she added a little fluoride something goo to put on my teeth before I left. To basically, make my mouth taste like chemical cleaner instead of blood, and cause my lips to stick together like nobody's business. After the first part was done, she left for like 30 minutes while I was just stuck in that chair. Fortunately, there was a TV in there, and it was set to E. So I watched this long special about Christina Aguilera.
It was about her rise to fame, and her marriage to that Jewish guy you know she could do better than. But I'm beginning to ramble...

When everything was finished they gave me a toothbrush, some toothpaste, and an aching mouth. Ironically, I don't think I'll smile for the rest of the day. ;| And if you get your teeth done, you'd think you'd want to flaunt them. But no, I just want to crawl into bed and wait for my teeth to settle in their places.

Because D.V.S forced me too.

blah blah blah...

30th post! (Horrible announcement)

As of today, and until further notice, UnNaturalOfftime will only update on Thursdays now, instead if Tuesdays & Thursdays. I'm doing this because Summer is not a very good time for me. (Nor was spring break.) I'll explain one day why these times are so stressful for me, but until then...this. But don't really worry, I have a lot of content on my Channel to keep you satisfied. That's all for now, see ya. ;)

Getting off...to a good start!

Yesterday, famed writer and musician "parSec," created a Channel.
It's been styled, and he's working on videos for it as we speak.
I just wanted to say something about it here because he helps out with Offtimes & some of my videos.
It's the least I could do.

Go give him some love at his Channel, or just visit his main site. ;)

May 4th: True to my word.

If you want to read on past this I understand. Basically, I'm just gonna complain for a little bit. It's getting tougher and tougher to balance my work life with my personal life. (No such personal life) And I have a Channel I'm running, that as far as I know is doing substantially better. I'm gonna try and pool together my Channel and my site here. (Since they both have the same name) But now that that's out of the way, let's talk about today's Offtime.

Just in case none of you knew who these people I was referencing were, Orlando Bloom was that cutie from Pirates of the Caribbean. Where as- and yes I did just say cutie. (I don't know why either) Where as Orlando Brown was the black guy from That's so raven. That might not be too descriptive, there were a lot of black guys on that show. But he played Eddie, her best male friend. I watch too much Disney channel. ;)

Sunday Annoucment!

When I said Hiatus, I didn't know it would only last a week. I've decided to do something that I never intend to do again in the near future. This Monday through Friday, a new Offtime will be uploaded on the site. That's right, five updates in a row! But it doesn't end there, on Saturday, Supermerch™ will have it's second update this month! That's six updates in a row! I know what you're thinking, "what's the terrible catch you must be hiding?" Well, I guess I gotta tell you at some point. I'm counting down the TOP 5 DIRTIEST OFFTIMES OF 2010! These are the Offtimes I was always weary about airing. The rudest of the rude, the crudest of the crude, and the lewdest of the lewd...of 2010. So instead of pacing myself and uploading them at a regular schedule, I'm tossing them at you for five days this week. I'll put up heavy warnings for the Offtimes that need them, and I'll try to explain why it contained profanity in the first place. What's the second catch? No updates for the rest of April. BRING ON THE SMUT! ;)

Announcement for an announcement

This is in no way a replacement for an Offtime, it's just something cute I whipped up last April and I decided to post it today. Okay, it's really not a replacement for anything. I just really wanted to put something up.

Hope you enjoyed April 1st! (Announcement)

It really is true what they say about April showers. The very first day of April, and it had already rained, there was pollen everywhere, and for some odd reason... nearly everything was covered in bird poop. But on to the announcement. As you know, Spring break is approaching, but what would seem like the best time for my site to bloom, is really the worst. I don't wanna say too much, but for the majority of Spring break, the site is going on a temporary HIATUS. If I can manage to get an Offtime up every other day, I will. But I plan to be very busy for the next month. Think of this as like a season finale or something. SuperMerch™ will have an update or two this month. And I'm working on a new project, but it doesn't premiere until May.
So I need everyone to just hang in there.

Try out the new poll, I added some orange to the color scheme and I want to know what it strikes you as.
 Updates should return around the end of spring break, but definitely before May.