"Correct Grooming"

(Click to enlarge)
So today is really busy. Our trash can was stolen, so we're dealing with that. The recovery will be difficult, but... *sniff*... I'll buy another.

Now let's talk about this here Offtime, it's cute, clever, and the first Offtime I ever enhanced on the computer. So in a special way, it's the first Offtime. Seems apt that this should be the last. Like I said, my collection of Offtimes is gone, and unless I'm suddenly 9 years old again at some point, there won't be anymore. This site existed to refurbish my old work and show both the reader and myself the inner-workings of a child's sense of comedy. Looking back on this stuff, I was pleasantly surprised. I'm leaving this blog up so I can always remember the stuff I did when I was little, and then the stuff I did with that stuff when I was a teen. I'll always cherish the past, but here's to the future!
check the YouTube Channel!

50th Post! (Zelda & Company)

"At least he's straight."

It's so sad that the 50th post wasn't an actual Offtime, but I gaurantee the 100th will be! I should probably start working on a new season, but I'm swamped with channel stuff. So until everything kinda evens out, all of my blogs will slow to a halt. Anyway, on to the drawing!

They weren't actually together, I just CPed the happy fellow next to her and figured this would count as a post.
Sorry today's post was so late, here's to another 50 posts!

"Groping her tiny hands?"

Doesn't she look like she's kinda copping a feel there?

The "TG" on her shirt stands for that girl.

Since I missed last Thursday's update, I'm putting up two things this morning. The first one is a still from Disney's Pocahontas. I just had to use this when I reeeaaally noticed what was going on. The second photo today is a bit of artwork I did.  unfortunately, an appendage of hers is rather small. No you perv, it's her hands. For some reason their abnormally tiny, and I didn't notice what I did until it was finished. Side note, I've gotten way better at drawing boobs since this was made, and isn't it weird she doesn't have a pelvis?

"What's on TV?"

I highly recommend checking it out. It's about professional wrestling, and how you could honestly view it sometimes. I'm can't remember how shocked my family must've been when I handed them a drawing of a gay kiss. The things kids think of. Took guts to make it, though. I also admire the general artwork here. I was never very good at drawing kisses, TVs, couches or heads at an angle. Could draw the male body, though...

To this day, I can't watch wrestling unless I'm specifically in the mood or something. It doesn't help knowing it's faker than latex. I really liked it. That's why I made it, and put it up here. ;)

"For Cheap Amusement!"

(Click to enlarge)
So, I'm very busy. But in a fun way! I making a movie for one of my YouTube friends. Yes, she's just a friend.
But on the bad side, my Offtime collection is depleting. I'll have to start making more, and that's not something I planned on doing. Personally,

I'm really proud of myself. This Offtime used to actually be vulgar, but I figured out a way to change it so it's kiddy safe, (Oddly Appropriate) but still funny! For all of you who must know what it used to say, fine. On the chamber where it says, "The Sitter." It used to say, "Sit n' Screw." An overly crass term for doing nothing. (One of it's uses.)

"Everyone's Mother."

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Okay, I know I'm dropping the ball a little. This update came rather late in the afternoon. But I'm really trying to do alot around this time, and as I said, Summer is a difficult time for me. One day I will explain, but until then, just keep trucking.

Personally, I think this Offtime is really cute. I wanted to give it a caption, but we thought it was good by itself. If it had gotten a caption, it would have said, " By the looks of it, he's bouncing them."
Let me know if you thought that caption would've been a funny addition.

"Choke On This!"

So Thursday's post isn't an Offtime, it's a small comic that I threw up so I wouldn't have to put up an Offtime. I know it seems like I'm dodging responsibilities, but I'm just focusing on a lot right now. As for this, I really can't give you a clear description. It's a cute, cuddly character that meets a deranged scientist. Typical stuff.
Hmmm, I might actually continue with this.

"The Hottest New Gameshow!" (S)

This Offtime has sexual references. *click to enlarge*

This one might qualify as an Offtime, it might not.
It's one both me and parSec made a long time ago. It's about stupid people who seal...important things for money. All the women who saw it of course, felt the need to inform us that female castration is an incredibly painful procedure, and in fact, shouldn't even be called a procedure because it's so barbaric and cruel. But of course after hearing that my reaction was, "Wow, that chick has it comin'!"

"Like us"

So, this is an HD Offtime. The shaping is different, and in my opinion, it's more recent and up to date! Most of comments are gonna be about those weirdos in the lower right corner. I just went all out to make it the weirdest group of people you've ever seen. I like the guy in the middle who appears to be drooling. Ironically, this comic site has taken a backseat, while the YouTube channel with the same name is my main interest.

"The Most Resonable Offtime Yet"

Okay, now we're making some headway back to the Offtimes that aren't offensive. So unoffensive, that in fact, they might be awkwardly tame. There are a lot more Offtimes out there, and right now I'm just uploading them in order. Recent offtimes have a widescreen format, and are in HD!

But still, I like this one. It's simple, what you see is what you get.
Oh yes, and when I said cutie in that last post, I was referring to the fact that a large number of females in my family found him sexy. Nothing to do with me...

May 4th: True to my word.

If you want to read on past this I understand. Basically, I'm just gonna complain for a little bit. It's getting tougher and tougher to balance my work life with my personal life. (No such personal life) And I have a Channel I'm running, that as far as I know is doing substantially better. I'm gonna try and pool together my Channel and my site here. (Since they both have the same name) But now that that's out of the way, let's talk about today's Offtime.

Just in case none of you knew who these people I was referencing were, Orlando Bloom was that cutie from Pirates of the Caribbean. Where as- and yes I did just say cutie. (I don't know why either) Where as Orlando Brown was the black guy from That's so raven. That might not be too descriptive, there were a lot of black guys on that show. But he played Eddie, her best male friend. I watch too much Disney channel. ;)

"This Next Generation." (D)

This Offtime contains D for Dialogue. .click to enlarge.

I'm a little late getting this one up I know. I like to have them up at, or before 10:00, but some friends came over this morning and wanted to take me somewhere. Also, there have been some bugs going around. There's nothing I can do to fix them, so I hope that the higher ups can. But now to talk about this Offtime. The idea is simple, two stickmen walking through, one superior to the other in many ways. Unfortunately, he won't shut up about it. And then amazingly he builds himself up so high only to knock himself down by insulting the fellow next to him.

SuperMerch™ has ended their Spiderman March crusade, so they're not gonna be updating for a little bit. Does that mean that Offtime will be the only update made around here? Maybe...maybe not...

"Isn't that just rich?" (D)

     This Offtime contains (D) for dialogue. .click to enlarge.

This is one of the few Offtimes that parSec illustrated and I came up with the joke for. Well, I come with the joke for most of them, but I'll usually get someone to check to see if there are any major improvements that could be made. On the back of the paper used for this, is the original Offtime I came up with. It's just the scale ranging from Really poor to Piss rich. I had completely forgotten about Piss poor, and Piss rich was a parody of that in a way. I took it to parSec and he said that it had the potential, but that it wasn't presented in the best way. An illustration would be better. So he took the paper and started drawing this up, and that's how this Offtime came to be. ;)

"Feared, Respected, Fearful, Retired."

So this is what a recent Offtime is like. It's in HD, we have our format down, and the artwork is a little better.
Unfortunately, the size is so big it oversteps the boundaries. My only real worry is about what the Veteran is wearing. It looks like a skirt of some sort when in reality it's supposed to be like a robe. It's a classic story, old man who fears every nation rising up again is really just a racist who can't accept change. Don't get me wrong, I respect certain war Veterans, even though this Offtime may not convey that message. My Sister used to be in an interracial relationship, and we all loved her boyfriend! He was funny, ever-trying, and could fix stuff up around our house. He even proposed...TWICE! :D

Short story shorter, Offtimes will air in a correct schedule from now on.