"Another bus?"

It's been a gooood long while since the last update. But you should notice that since then, we've gained some new additions to the site. Like...UnNaturalOfftime

I WAS UNDER A BUS FOR A WEEK!!!

Or two or 3 or 4 weeks...
I know I haven't updated recently, but if you watch my channels, CH1, CH2, then you know I'm often busy and tired. In news though, I launched a new format for a series on my second channel. It beat my last video's view count in just 3 days. (The video it beat took a week to get there)

I'm treating this as a sign that I should continue with this idea. ;)

somewhere...out there...

So sorry it's been two weeks without an update.
But on the brightside, I started a new channel that did pretty well it's first few days. I'm going to guest star on another podcast to talk about it this Saturday. While on that podcast, I intend to reveal some shocking news about the future of unnaturalofftime the YouTube Channel. I know this post was weirdly named, I don't know why I called it that either.

If my new vision for unnaturalofftime works, a new blog could be in the mix...
I know, I don't even update this regularly. ;)

10 Minutes To Midnight

I'm glad I managed to get a post out today. Sadly, no update. But I did manage a new video on my Channel.
Love you guys, bye.

I'll be back next week of course. ;)

50th Post! (Zelda & Company)

"At least he's straight."

It's so sad that the 50th post wasn't an actual Offtime, but I gaurantee the 100th will be! I should probably start working on a new season, but I'm swamped with channel stuff. So until everything kinda evens out, all of my blogs will slow to a halt. Anyway, on to the drawing!

They weren't actually together, I just CPed the happy fellow next to her and figured this would count as a post.
Sorry today's post was so late, here's to another 50 posts!

SuperMerch is down. ;(

That blog has finally been put to sleep. Mostly because no one liked it, it didn't look very good, and the posts weren't that funny. But enough self beat down! I've created UNOMAIN, a new header site for everything I'm doing and working on. I hope to make it the place where I talk about random life crap and upcoming videos...as opposed to that place being here.

So if I have a big announcement, I'll try to post it there. ;)

"Groping her tiny hands?"

Doesn't she look like she's kinda copping a feel there?

The "TG" on her shirt stands for that girl.

Since I missed last Thursday's update, I'm putting up two things this morning. The first one is a still from Disney's Pocahontas. I just had to use this when I reeeaaally noticed what was going on. The second photo today is a bit of artwork I did.  unfortunately, an appendage of hers is rather small. No you perv, it's her hands. For some reason their abnormally tiny, and I didn't notice what I did until it was finished. Side note, I've gotten way better at drawing boobs since this was made, and isn't it weird she doesn't have a pelvis?

Soz about thursday

I have a load of updates, but I just didn't get around to it last Thursday. I'll put that post up between now and next Thursday. Trust me. ;)

Also, the eyemmer movie is being covered in a magazine article. I'll link to it once it's finished. ;D

WTG Zelda with ya' bad self!

"Ain't she just stunning!?"

This is supposed to be Zelda from the famed gaming series you might have heard of. At least this is just my version of her. This drawing is actually cropped from a rejected Offtime. Imagine Link at the other side of the page, holding a pink Triforce symbol. And he says, "Zelda, guess what!"

As you can imagine, that was canned. Partially because if you know some history, pink triangles were the sign gay people had to wear in Hitler's weird world. But mostly because, it wasn't that funny.

NEW VIDEO

Check this out. Yes, it's unnaturalofftime related.

THEY CUT ME!!!!

"If you saw the full version of this, you'd think I was racist."

Though they didn't cut me, I enjoyed my first guest appearance on DJG and CCE's podcast. Watch it here! But in other news, no Offtime yesterday. And instead, this. But the image in combination with my appearance on someone's show, should compensate fairly well.

Thursday's Offtime?

As you know, today a new Offtime would've gone up. Well that's not happening. Because as I've said, I'm out of Offtimes. I do however, have an interesting substitute I can do here. Unfortunately, I can't do that right now. See, my mom dragged me to her job with her. The computer I'm telling all this on doesn't have any of my files. So hopefully, I'll get an update up later today. In lighter news, One of my YouTube pals invited me to guest star on one of his podcasts. Will I take up his offer? I haven't decided yet. I'd ask for your opinions, but I know no one reads this. {:)

"What's on TV?"

I highly recommend checking it out. It's about professional wrestling, and how you could honestly view it sometimes. I'm can't remember how shocked my family must've been when I handed them a drawing of a gay kiss. The things kids think of. Took guts to make it, though. I also admire the general artwork here. I was never very good at drawing kisses, TVs, couches or heads at an angle. Could draw the male body, though...

To this day, I can't watch wrestling unless I'm specifically in the mood or something. It doesn't help knowing it's faker than latex. I really liked it. That's why I made it, and put it up here. ;)

New post tomorrow...

It's me. Coming to you live from (censored), it's unnaturalofftime night live! Wouldn't that be crazy? some sort of live chat on the nights before updates? I'd literally be up all night blogging about pointless crap until 10:00 the next morning. I'd pass out before then and miss the update time. Anyway, I feel like I haven't said anything in a while. I've been thinking about getting a new camera. One that does the visual quality I want, with the price I can handle. Also, check out this link. ;) If it worked, it should've been opened the trailer for my movie. But in a neat little window. Yes, the only reason I made this post was to try that out. Anyway, that's all for tonight. ;|

"Horrific!"

So this Offtime is the second to last Offtime I have in stock. I'd make more, but I'm really occupied with all my other stuff. In good news, SuperMerch™ uploaded it's first new post in 2 months! And Underobs is still going strong. Oh yeah, I kinda have to describe this Offtime a little. There's a reason I waited this long to upload it. Look at it upside down, and you see a horrific scene with blood, and a stick person crying heavily over their bodies. Look at it rightside up, and the entire image resembles a happy face. Or, if you can't imagine that big, look at the head of the crying girl upside down. Her earrings are eyes, her open frown is a smile, and her stub of a nose is the underlip. And you can imagine that her tears are drool. This is probably very dark, but this is the most violent offtime to date, and hopefully not to be surpassed.

Family Guy DYNOMITE! (This vid is so funny)

"Special President Money"

(Click to enlarge)
As I said, Offtime counts are depleting. And because of such, I might start uploading other things on Thursday. But It'll still be worth the tune in!

Today's offtime is almost entirely my idea, the rest of it can be credited to parSec.  The main joke was mine, but it was parsec who decided on which President to go with. I originally wanted James Buchanan for some reason. And the delivery man used to say something much worse, although, I realized that that didn't improve the humor at all.

"For Cheap Amusement!"

(Click to enlarge)
So, I'm very busy. But in a fun way! I making a movie for one of my YouTube friends. Yes, she's just a friend.
But on the bad side, my Offtime collection is depleting. I'll have to start making more, and that's not something I planned on doing. Personally,

I'm really proud of myself. This Offtime used to actually be vulgar, but I figured out a way to change it so it's kiddy safe, (Oddly Appropriate) but still funny! For all of you who must know what it used to say, fine. On the chamber where it says, "The Sitter." It used to say, "Sit n' Screw." An overly crass term for doing nothing. (One of it's uses.)

"Everyone's Mother."

(Click to enlarge)
Okay, I know I'm dropping the ball a little. This update came rather late in the afternoon. But I'm really trying to do alot around this time, and as I said, Summer is a difficult time for me. One day I will explain, but until then, just keep trucking.

Personally, I think this Offtime is really cute. I wanted to give it a caption, but we thought it was good by itself. If it had gotten a caption, it would have said, " By the looks of it, he's bouncing them."
Let me know if you thought that caption would've been a funny addition.

"Delightful, is it not? It's not."

Yeeeeeaaaa, I kinda didn't update yesterday. I can explain! I was really busy researching things for my Channel.
In fact, today, I just uploaded this. I'll put up an Offtime next Thursday, but until then, just enjoy the other stuff.

"Choke On This!"

So Thursday's post isn't an Offtime, it's a small comic that I threw up so I wouldn't have to put up an Offtime. I know it seems like I'm dodging responsibilities, but I'm just focusing on a lot right now. As for this, I really can't give you a clear description. It's a cute, cuddly character that meets a deranged scientist. Typical stuff.
Hmmm, I might actually continue with this.

"Christina Aguilera Has Some Messed Up Teeth!"

Today is the first Tuesday I'm purposely not updating. As you read in my post, ( "30th post Horrible announcement") I'm only updating on Thursdays now. But onto what I wanted to blog about. Today I visited my local Dentist, it was completely pointless, and a waste of time. I wouldn't say that's too harsh a settlement because ultimately, she just chiseled my teeth (Removing perfectly good tooth) to make them a little more refined. I had no cavities, so they didn't have that to worry about.  But they also violently scraped plaque from places where plaque should be, leaving my teeth feeling like they wanted to fall out. Then, if that wasn't humiliating and painful enough, she added a little fluoride something goo to put on my teeth before I left. To basically, make my mouth taste like chemical cleaner instead of blood, and cause my lips to stick together like nobody's business. After the first part was done, she left for like 30 minutes while I was just stuck in that chair. Fortunately, there was a TV in there, and it was set to E. So I watched this long special about Christina Aguilera.
It was about her rise to fame, and her marriage to that Jewish guy you know she could do better than. But I'm beginning to ramble...

When everything was finished they gave me a toothbrush, some toothpaste, and an aching mouth. Ironically, I don't think I'll smile for the rest of the day. ;| And if you get your teeth done, you'd think you'd want to flaunt them. But no, I just want to crawl into bed and wait for my teeth to settle in their places.

Because D.V.S forced me too.

blah blah blah...

30th post! (Horrible announcement)

As of today, and until further notice, UnNaturalOfftime will only update on Thursdays now, instead if Tuesdays & Thursdays. I'm doing this because Summer is not a very good time for me. (Nor was spring break.) I'll explain one day why these times are so stressful for me, but until then...this. But don't really worry, I have a lot of content on my Channel to keep you satisfied. That's all for now, see ya. ;)

"WTF?!?!?"

This is actually an old one that just got a huge makeover. Forgive the outdated look of this chatroom, but I made this when I was 11, back before I had any idea what a real one looked like. Matter fact, I still don't.
What else...OH! I just got some videos in stock yesterday, so now my Channel will be always prepared. Please, forgive my grammar today, I didn't get much sleep last night.

"Make a joke"

3 years ago I probably would've uploaded this with a D for suggestive language, but now, I can easily file this under Oddly Appropriate without any hesitation. The world has declined a little bit in that way...

But about this Offtime, it's cute, it's a little funny, and you click to enlarge.
Also, addressing the issue about Ian Dialian. The new episode should be up definitely before the next month.
I just need to burn through all the story I have so I can get it done. 

Your Ex Boyfriend (READ THE FULL POST!)

*click to enlarge*
So today should be fun, I'm editing a funny Sims vid I can put on my Channel, I'm getting more YouTube friends, and I finally topped 1400 total video views. (And counting of course)

This is another cute Offtime I made. I feel it symbolizes the time when
you leave someone for something new. Someone you know your parents wouldn't approve of. ...Basically, it's like leaving your boyfriend for a black guy. It's always fun for the first few days, then you get tired of it. :D

And should you see your Ex at another point in time, don't say something hurtful, but let them know...you know.

"Utter Cop-out"

I really don't have time to blog on the one, I'm in horrible leg pain so I have to keep moving. That doesn't make much sense does it? Though this Offtime fits the mood of the day, (rushed with no effort)
It was made a good while before this date. It's not even HD!

Getting off...to a good start!

Yesterday, famed writer and musician "parSec," created a Channel.
It's been styled, and he's working on videos for it as we speak.
I just wanted to say something about it here because he helps out with Offtimes & some of my videos.
It's the least I could do.

Go give him some love at his Channel, or just visit his main site. ;)

"The Hottest New Gameshow!" (S)

This Offtime has sexual references. *click to enlarge*

This one might qualify as an Offtime, it might not.
It's one both me and parSec made a long time ago. It's about stupid people who seal...important things for money. All the women who saw it of course, felt the need to inform us that female castration is an incredibly painful procedure, and in fact, shouldn't even be called a procedure because it's so barbaric and cruel. But of course after hearing that my reaction was, "Wow, that chick has it comin'!"

"At Least He's Handy"

*click to enlarge*

I like this one...
Today is gonna be busy for me. I have to make some new videos just so I have them in stock, I need to make some changes on my Channel, and I need to write the next edition of Ian Dialian.
Also, I'm hosting a small competition. Details in the sidebar.

This Offtime was an easy idea. Since I couldn't draw a hand,
I needed to trace my own. It got laughs from everyone I gave it to, but for some reason I still wish I had added more blood...

"Highest Definition Available, 2160p"

As you may or may not know, HD is more than a buzzword, its a way of life. Everything has to 16:9 in order to get some attention. Most of my videos are in that format, and are available in HD. But when I tried uploading this by the totally legal means of 2160p, it backfired, erased what was there, and replaced it with this banner. It still gave me a laugh, so I left it up here. ;)

Also, new look today. I got rid of that strip-club black and replaced it with calming white.

"Like us"

So, this is an HD Offtime. The shaping is different, and in my opinion, it's more recent and up to date! Most of comments are gonna be about those weirdos in the lower right corner. I just went all out to make it the weirdest group of people you've ever seen. I like the guy in the middle who appears to be drooling. Ironically, this comic site has taken a backseat, while the YouTube channel with the same name is my main interest.

"The Most Resonable Offtime Yet"

Okay, now we're making some headway back to the Offtimes that aren't offensive. So unoffensive, that in fact, they might be awkwardly tame. There are a lot more Offtimes out there, and right now I'm just uploading them in order. Recent offtimes have a widescreen format, and are in HD!

But still, I like this one. It's simple, what you see is what you get.
Oh yes, and when I said cutie in that last post, I was referring to the fact that a large number of females in my family found him sexy. Nothing to do with me...

May 4th: True to my word.

If you want to read on past this I understand. Basically, I'm just gonna complain for a little bit. It's getting tougher and tougher to balance my work life with my personal life. (No such personal life) And I have a Channel I'm running, that as far as I know is doing substantially better. I'm gonna try and pool together my Channel and my site here. (Since they both have the same name) But now that that's out of the way, let's talk about today's Offtime.

Just in case none of you knew who these people I was referencing were, Orlando Bloom was that cutie from Pirates of the Caribbean. Where as- and yes I did just say cutie. (I don't know why either) Where as Orlando Brown was the black guy from That's so raven. That might not be too descriptive, there were a lot of black guys on that show. But he played Eddie, her best male friend. I watch too much Disney channel. ;)

Top 5 Dirtiest Offtimes of 2010:

                          Let us start the countdown with this beaut!

#5   Okay, by now you may have figured out what exactly you're looking at. What can I say? It was a different time, a time when I thought that butts were funny in and of themselves. But whenever I read the caption for this, I get a huge grin that I just can't wipe off my face. ;)
                                     

 #4    Just because I put it in the countdown, doesn't mean I didn't like it. Despite what most people may think, there is a difference between dirty, and offensive. This Offtime may not be the best example, but the only reason you're seeing these Offtimes is because at a time, or even currently, we thought it was funny. If it was dirty and wasn't funny, I would've tossed it out. This was the first Risque Offtime I ever made. I was weary about what my editors would think. parSec, loved it. To this day it still cracks him up. His opinion matters to me because for the most part he has a good eye and ear for humor.
As to why I used the A-word, it just didn't have the same sting with the word, "butt"
Oh, yesterday I finally started a Youtube channel.

#3  Yet another one I thought was hilarious. It originally had an alternate captioning, but it was of course inferior to the one I went with. Explaining why I made this one might not be the best for my image. I originally got the idea from another Offtime I made. (one that won't be aired) Women seem to be obsessed with dark chocolate treats. So what if there was a chocolate that just...brought out the worst in them. After some work-through it ended up being what you see here today. Why was there profanity? Well let's face it, there was practically no way for this to end up otherwise. at least it's censored, which is more than I can say possibly for our final contenders.

 #2  I was thinking of HBO's Entourage when I made this. A show that's mostly just Italian guys swearing all the time. About either money, actors, or the Godfather. This makes number two because the swear at the end is more powerful, but it's censored. Entourage isn't entirely like I described it...they might not be Italian.

#1
If it was censored it would've been (TV 14 L), but since it wasn't, it gets promoted to (TV MA). Even though this is a comic, not a show. I again thank parSec for helping me out with all those business names. Ultimately, the entire gag was the new job name. Perhaps it could've spelled out something else, but it didn't. It makes number 1 in the countdown simply because it had the biggest swear and the least censoring.

This concludes the TOP 5 DIRTIEST OFFTIMES OF 2010. ;)
Check back May 4th when Offtime updates resume.
                           

Sunday Annoucment!

When I said Hiatus, I didn't know it would only last a week. I've decided to do something that I never intend to do again in the near future. This Monday through Friday, a new Offtime will be uploaded on the site. That's right, five updates in a row! But it doesn't end there, on Saturday, Supermerch™ will have it's second update this month! That's six updates in a row! I know what you're thinking, "what's the terrible catch you must be hiding?" Well, I guess I gotta tell you at some point. I'm counting down the TOP 5 DIRTIEST OFFTIMES OF 2010! These are the Offtimes I was always weary about airing. The rudest of the rude, the crudest of the crude, and the lewdest of the lewd...of 2010. So instead of pacing myself and uploading them at a regular schedule, I'm tossing them at you for five days this week. I'll put up heavy warnings for the Offtimes that need them, and I'll try to explain why it contained profanity in the first place. What's the second catch? No updates for the rest of April. BRING ON THE SMUT! ;)

Announcement for an announcement

This is in no way a replacement for an Offtime, it's just something cute I whipped up last April and I decided to post it today. Okay, it's really not a replacement for anything. I just really wanted to put something up.

Hope you enjoyed April 1st! (Announcement)

It really is true what they say about April showers. The very first day of April, and it had already rained, there was pollen everywhere, and for some odd reason... nearly everything was covered in bird poop. But on to the announcement. As you know, Spring break is approaching, but what would seem like the best time for my site to bloom, is really the worst. I don't wanna say too much, but for the majority of Spring break, the site is going on a temporary HIATUS. If I can manage to get an Offtime up every other day, I will. But I plan to be very busy for the next month. Think of this as like a season finale or something. SuperMerch™ will have an update or two this month. And I'm working on a new project, but it doesn't premiere until May.
So I need everyone to just hang in there.

Try out the new poll, I added some orange to the color scheme and I want to know what it strikes you as.
 Updates should return around the end of spring break, but definitely before May.

"Yeah, me too."

This may barely qualify as an Offtime, simply because I neglected to put it up with a cover. Assume it's undone, or unfinished. Never to be retouched...
It's a cute gag, and it's Thursday's update. See ya next week! ;)
I'm in a hurry today.

"This Next Generation." (D)

This Offtime contains D for Dialogue. .click to enlarge.

I'm a little late getting this one up I know. I like to have them up at, or before 10:00, but some friends came over this morning and wanted to take me somewhere. Also, there have been some bugs going around. There's nothing I can do to fix them, so I hope that the higher ups can. But now to talk about this Offtime. The idea is simple, two stickmen walking through, one superior to the other in many ways. Unfortunately, he won't shut up about it. And then amazingly he builds himself up so high only to knock himself down by insulting the fellow next to him.

SuperMerch™ has ended their Spiderman March crusade, so they're not gonna be updating for a little bit. Does that mean that Offtime will be the only update made around here? Maybe...maybe not...

"Isn't that just rich?" (D)

     This Offtime contains (D) for dialogue. .click to enlarge.

This is one of the few Offtimes that parSec illustrated and I came up with the joke for. Well, I come with the joke for most of them, but I'll usually get someone to check to see if there are any major improvements that could be made. On the back of the paper used for this, is the original Offtime I came up with. It's just the scale ranging from Really poor to Piss rich. I had completely forgotten about Piss poor, and Piss rich was a parody of that in a way. I took it to parSec and he said that it had the potential, but that it wasn't presented in the best way. An illustration would be better. So he took the paper and started drawing this up, and that's how this Offtime came to be. ;)

"Feared, Respected, Fearful, Retired."

So this is what a recent Offtime is like. It's in HD, we have our format down, and the artwork is a little better.
Unfortunately, the size is so big it oversteps the boundaries. My only real worry is about what the Veteran is wearing. It looks like a skirt of some sort when in reality it's supposed to be like a robe. It's a classic story, old man who fears every nation rising up again is really just a racist who can't accept change. Don't get me wrong, I respect certain war Veterans, even though this Offtime may not convey that message. My Sister used to be in an interracial relationship, and we all loved her boyfriend! He was funny, ever-trying, and could fix stuff up around our house. He even proposed...TWICE! :D

Short story shorter, Offtimes will air in a correct schedule from now on.

What's Going on Around the Fence...

This is the first edition of What's going on. Basically, I talk about what's happening in my life, and how it's affecting the Website. Don't worry, I'll only do this during that awkward stretch between Thursday and next Tuesday.

Yesterday, I started working on a new Offtime. I just need to redo a few things, but it'll go up on Tuesday. I figured that I'd post it so everyone could see what a recent Offtime looks like. But then I'll go back to posting them in order. Also, (not Website related) yesterday my Sister gave me  Acne Cream. She didn't want to at first because she claimed that I didn't have any Acne. But, she lent it to me, and I started using it this morning.
Amazingly, I had to search my entire face just trying to find one slight blemish. It's as if I'm developing perfectly.(maybe I just take a lot of vitamins)  The problems I have...

"Loser Boyfriend"

.click to enlarge.

This is an old one, I didn't even bother retouching the artwork. This was one of the first four Offtimes ever created. I would've uploaded this sooner, but what little retouching was done it took awhile to do. The only change I wish I would've made Would have been mirroring the issue. So Billy would be on the other side and his "response" would be better placed. Also, Catch up with SuperMerch.com and one of their new updates!

"Dogs and Goldfish"

Today is a bad day. Not just because my Nephew is staying with me and he happens to like messing around on the computer all day. No, today is all about the simple trials of an Alien Species that comes to earth to have an incredible battle with a surprising enemy. Yes, I was thinking of that new "Transformers movie" that was coming out a while ago. The first one, not the second. Like I said, to this very day I am still making Offtimes, which means that I'm sending the older ones out first. Also, I would like to very strongly limit the amount of credit I give parSec for this one. He gave me a caption idea that we couldn't use because no one would get the reference, and it was too dirty.  Well... I can't give myself too much credit, I originally jumped at the opportunity to use it, and thought it was pretty funny myself, but a Third Party person decided that we shouldn't go with it. Thus today's post came to be.

"MindFreak"

.click to enlarge.

I hope I don't get sued for using the Arby's slogan.
I hope I don't get sued for naming this post MindFreak.
And I hope I don't get sued for the fact that both of these characters
have a head. :)

Munich, 1894.

First, let me start off by saying that I do not condone violence to women.
This Offtime was made a good while ago, but I still remember it's creation. I had the idea stuck in my head about a scientist in old times who invents something that I know is terrible, but yet everyone who hears about it loves it. Whenever I tried to use or explain this gag, people instantly got offended, and told me it was a terrible idea. who knows, maybe it was? But it would have been a lot worse if it hadn't been for (Parsec.) Though I supplied the initial joke, HE is the one who really wrote it, and phrased it so beautifully.

I continue to write Offtimes to this very day, so right now I'm just cranking out the old ones before we get to the new ones. Also, new SuperMerch update on their blog. DON'T get used to us updating at the same time. :)

Fred and Raine

 

Meet Fred and Raine! Two Brothers that came to me in a Nightmare. :)

They may not be the most..."common" Children, but they settle their differences long enough to work together. 

Something about this seems almost Tim Burtony to me...

"Stock Drop"

 

Today is the launch date for our new website. I've decided to start with, what else?
An Offtime. The very first Offtime to be exact. Wanna know more about the site? Go to the Rules & FAQ section. Let today be the start of a long and fruitful journey....